Category Archives: T

Film Review No.361: Turtle Power

After reviewing that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film from last year, which has the odd distinction of being a film that “didn’t make me angry”, I pledged to review the older TMNT films at some point. I still haven’t done that. But I have watched the documentary about the creation of those Mutant Turtles and my review of that is right here… so… that let’s me off, right?

COWABUNGA!!!


Film Review No.354: 13 Assassins (2010)

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I don’t make new year’s resolutions, mostly because I’m a grumpy old twat, but mostly because I’m terrible at doing what I say I’ll do. Granted, that’s probably the point of a new year’s resolution but… that’s just, like, your opinion… man. What I aim to do this year, however, is get a more consistent review schedule going. There’s been a little slacking off due to my Youtube channel growing, which has led to me focusing more on that. The aim is to balance this out. Part of this balance includes picking out a more eclectic mix of films to review, which I’ll start with tonight by reviewing Takashi Miike’s remake of Eiichi Kudo’s 1963 film 13 Assassins. Click the link below for my review.

Samurai Jack could have handled this job single handed.


Film Review No.341: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

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Watch out, ya’ll ’bout to get shell-shocked… or so the theme tune to this new take on the heroes in a half shell goes. Being shell-shocked is an odd thing to associate with a film based on a kids range of comics, toys and cartoons, but I think, maybe… just maybe, they were going for a play on words there. Because they’re turtles. Turtles have shells. Do you see? DO YOU SEE?! Anyway, this is my review of the new teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film which, for some reason, has only been released in the UK this past week. We’re like a third world country or something now. Click the link below.

Cowabunga… or something


Film Review No.323: Transformers – Age Of Extinction

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I’m just going to come out and say this right from the start. If you want a spoiler free review it’s best to go elsewhere, or at least not past this first paragraph. Age of Extinction is such a horrendous, vile and horrible film in so many ways I just have to go into all of it. So, here’s a mini review. It is not as bad as Revenge of the Fallen. It actually does a few things right. Excels at times even. I just think that, perhaps, my resistance to the works of Michael Bay has finally worn out and as a result I have to pick this film apart. You’ll see what I mean about the film being horrible and yet being capable of excellence as I go along. Shall we get started?

Michael Bay has made me cynical about Transformers


GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.299: Terror Of Mechagodzilla

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Well, this is the end of an era. The Showa era to be exact. See, Godzilla films are generally split into 3 distinct eras. The first being named Showa, the second Heisei and the third Millennium. All 3 series use the original film, Gojira, as a jumping off point with 1984’s The Return of Godzilla (Godzilla 1985) being a direct sequel to the original, as was Godzilla 2000/Millennium. None of the following eras keep any of the continuity from the Showa era. When Toho made Terror of Mechagodzilla they never intended for Godzilla to be laid to rest forever but they recognised that they needed a break. This last film almost serves as an attempt to correct some of the misguided tangents taken by some of the more recent entries in the series. Ishiro Honda returns as director and, thankfully, Akira Ifukube returns as the film’s composer. Returning too is the more serious and dark tone, though not to the same degree as the first film. How does the Showa era’s finale pan out? Click the link below for my review.

This film is unique in the Godzilla series as it is the only one with fake rubber boobs in it


FILM DUMP’S 3RD BIRTHDAY SPECIAL: Film Review No.298: The Toxic Avenger

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Yes, The Toxic Avenger. My pick for the film which should represent The Film Dump turning 3 years old today is The Toxic Avenger. I tend to, but not always, pick out one of those films that people consider to be so bad they’re good as my milestone reviews. To me they’re films that show incalculable passion and honesty despite their limitations or ineptitude. Some of my genuinely favourite films of all time fit into these categories. Films such as Troll 2, Ninja Terminator and the recently added Story of Riki-oh. I should have saved that last one for a milestone really but I was in the mood at the time. I do enjoy the milestone review days though. Hell, there will be a second in a few days when I hit 300 reviews. The film I’ve picked for No.300 is one I’ve saved just for the occasion, as was Toxic Avenger. I knew I wanted to cover a Troma film at some point and today seems like just the right time to share with you all why Troma and The Toxic Avenger are special. The good special. Click the link below for words about this film!

Fun fact: I have Lloyd Kaufman and Toxie’s autograph on a screenplay of SUPER.


Film Review No.256: Thor – The Dark World

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So Marvel thought it would be hilarious to release Thor The Dark World right in the middle of my Horror Week. Good going Marvel! Why not screw everything up for me as much as you can? Like that time you released The Avengers just as I was about to do my traditional joke review for The Film Dump’s 1st birthday. I’m sure they’ll find a way to screw up the Godzilla season I’m planning. Jerks. Yup, Marvel have it in for me, clearly. So, Thor The Dark World is out in the UK and I just got back from seeing it. So here’s my review… right in the middle of Horror Week. Click the link.

Unfortunately Kat Dennings is still covered up in this one. Racists.


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