Category Archives: S

Film Review No.349: Snowpiercer

Snowpiercer-1

I’m a little late getting to this one. I wanted to review Snowpiercer much earlier in the year but it has still not seen a UK release. I thought it had and I had just missed it. Turns out there was a festival showing and that’s it. No DVD release or anything. But the film is up on the US version of Netflix which is easy enough to access if you’re a UK Netflix customer. So, do that. Because, Jesus, this film is pretty damn good and needs watching. You know it’s out over a lot of Europe too on DVD. They’ll play on UK DVD players fine and will be in English. Screw Weinstein and his messed up handling of this film. Anyway, click the link below for the review.

It’s mostly about how we constantly destroy ourselves.


HORROR WEEK 2014: Film Review No.343: Slugs – The Movie

Slugs-3

Well, I guess reviewing Slugs was pretty much inevitable for this here film blogzone thing. I do like to occasionally dip my toe into the world of low budget so-bad-they’re-good movies. Boy did I get one here. Recommended to me by a Twitter follower known as Once_Tricky, so I have him to blame for this, Slugs is a film about a town under siege by toxic, flesh eating slugs. I’m pretty sure The Goodies did a sketch like this. So, what is Slugs actually like… Click the link and I’ll try my best to explain.

Slugs are easily the worst threat mankind could ever face.


HORROR WEEK 2014: Film Review No.342: Society

Society-1

Oh Brian Yuzna, you are a special kind of director. Possibly, I’d say, the closest thing horror has had to an Argento or a Fulci in the last couple of decades. Argento certainly isn’t Argento anymore. What Yuzna likes to do, when not writing Honey I Shrunk The Kids films, is take a story of something potentially dark, show you that darkness and then crank that darkness to 11 via a short segway into absolute balls out weirdness. One film that does this with quite some ballsy amount of style is his 1989 film Society. Click the link below for my review where I’ll try as hard as possible to not spoil how weird this film gets.

Not wincest at all.


Film Review No.320: Survival of the Dead

Survival-Of-The-Dead-4

Film number 2 of the 4 Paul (my buddy on Mellow Gaming) got me for my birthday was George A Romero’s Survival of the Dead. Fun fact about this film: I have never heard anyone say anything good about it. Thanks Paul! I’ve only reviewed one other Romero Living Dead film on here, that being the excellent Day of the Dead. So here’s a quick rundown of my opinion on the other films… Night of the Living Dead is quintessential cinema, Dawn is one of my favourite zombie flicks of all time, Land is actually quite decent, Diary is fecking terrible. Let’s see if Survival of the Dead continues that spectacular drop in quality since Land of the Dead shall we?

Father Ted Vs Zombies would have been better.


GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.293: Son Of Godzilla

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I had never seen Son of Godzilla before last night. A friend of mine had described it as being… ahem… “a stupid log of bloody shit floating down a river of hate blood shat out of a whores eye hole”. Which is as vivid a description of a film as you could ever ask for. I had always though the film was merely the tipping point where Godzilla films stopped being family sci-fi adventure flicks and became focused on being children’s entertainment. But, you know, everyone has their own interpretation of a film. So, click the link below for mine.

Oh no! There goes Tokyo!


Film Review No.271: Serenity

Serenity-1

As I have mentioned before, I always have my finger on the pulse of modern culture. Because of this I recently watched an obscure TV show none of you have ever heard of called Firefly. Yep, it’s a show none of you know about and because of that you’d be totally unaware of the equally obscure film made a couple of years after the shows demise. You don’t know about this stuff because you’re, like, nowhere near as cool and in tune with the fringes of pop culture as I am. So shut up and let me tell you why Serenity is a great film. Also, you should watch Firefly too. Cos if you’re the sort of person who’s waited nearly 12 years to finally watch the show you’re probably an idiot or something. I mean, I would have watched it sooner but I’m so “cool” and “with it” that I just had way too much other stuff to watch. What’s your excuse. Click the link for my words about this film called Serenity.

He was like a leaf on the wind DAMMIT!


Superman Season: Film Review No.234: Superman Returns

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Superman Returns gets a lot of crap. Around 84.6% of this crap is unwarranted nitpicking. The remaining 15.6% ignore that we could have gotten a much worse film instead. For example, in the years between Superman 4 we nearly had: A Tim Burton directed Superman starring Nic Cage, a fight with Polar Bears and a giant mechanical Spider. A film directed by McG. A film directed by Brett Ratner. Ashton Kutcher as Superman squaring off with Jay Baruchel. For some reason the cancelled Superman films always seem to involve really odd stuff. Thank God for Bryan Singer and his respect for the work of Richard Donner, because instead of Superman wearing an electric suit we got something that treated the source material with respect, could serve as a better sequel than the previous 2 films, and had zero mechanical fecking spiders. Click the link to read how I try to validate the existence of Superman Returns despite overwhelming internet raging fanboy opposition.

Superman will…. WRONG!!!


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