Category Archives: S

Film Review No.320: Survival of the Dead

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Film number 2 of the 4 Paul (my buddy on Mellow Gaming) got me for my birthday was George A Romero’s Survival of the Dead. Fun fact about this film: I have never heard anyone say anything good about it. Thanks Paul! I’ve only reviewed one other Romero Living Dead film on here, that being the excellent Day of the Dead. So here’s a quick rundown of my opinion on the other films… Night of the Living Dead is quintessential cinema, Dawn is one of my favourite zombie flicks of all time, Land is actually quite decent, Diary is fecking terrible. Let’s see if Survival of the Dead continues that spectacular drop in quality since Land of the Dead shall we?

Father Ted Vs Zombies would have been better.

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GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.293: Son Of Godzilla

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I had never seen Son of Godzilla before last night. A friend of mine had described it as being… ahem… “a stupid log of bloody shit floating down a river of hate blood shat out of a whores eye hole”. Which is as vivid a description of a film as you could ever ask for. I had always though the film was merely the tipping point where Godzilla films stopped being family sci-fi adventure flicks and became focused on being children’s entertainment. But, you know, everyone has their own interpretation of a film. So, click the link below for mine.

Oh no! There goes Tokyo!


Film Review No.271: Serenity

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As I have mentioned before, I always have my finger on the pulse of modern culture. Because of this I recently watched an obscure TV show none of you have ever heard of called Firefly. Yep, it’s a show none of you know about and because of that you’d be totally unaware of the equally obscure film made a couple of years after the shows demise. You don’t know about this stuff because you’re, like, nowhere near as cool and in tune with the fringes of pop culture as I am. So shut up and let me tell you why Serenity is a great film. Also, you should watch Firefly too. Cos if you’re the sort of person who’s waited nearly 12 years to finally watch the show you’re probably an idiot or something. I mean, I would have watched it sooner but I’m so “cool” and “with it” that I just had way too much other stuff to watch. What’s your excuse. Click the link for my words about this film called Serenity.

He was like a leaf on the wind DAMMIT!


Superman Season: Film Review No.234: Superman Returns

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Superman Returns gets a lot of crap. Around 84.6% of this crap is unwarranted nitpicking. The remaining 15.6% ignore that we could have gotten a much worse film instead. For example, in the years between Superman 4 we nearly had: A Tim Burton directed Superman starring Nic Cage, a fight with Polar Bears and a giant mechanical Spider. A film directed by McG. A film directed by Brett Ratner. Ashton Kutcher as Superman squaring off with Jay Baruchel. For some reason the cancelled Superman films always seem to involve really odd stuff. Thank God for Bryan Singer and his respect for the work of Richard Donner, because instead of Superman wearing an electric suit we got something that treated the source material with respect, could serve as a better sequel than the previous 2 films, and had zero mechanical fecking spiders. Click the link to read how I try to validate the existence of Superman Returns despite overwhelming internet raging fanboy opposition.

Superman will…. WRONG!!!


Superman Season: Film Review No.233: Superman 4 – The Quest For Peace

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Oh man… here it is. Superman 4: The Quest For Peace. Words cannot describe just… well… everything. Which probably isn’t the best basis for a written review. But dammit, I’m gonna try my best. Superman 4 is the only one in the Christopher Reeve series to not be produced by the Salkinds. Unfortunately, for us, this film is produced by Cannon films. The studio that brought us Cyborg, the MIA series and Masters of the Universe. There’s a certain tone and style present in those films that isn’t quite in keeping with the scope and scale needed for a Superman film. That said, they did also make Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo so I guess all can be forgiven. Now, let’s see if I can describe just what it is about Superman 4 that makes it so… I’m gonna say special, but it’s special like that kid in school that ate the erasers. Click the link for the review.

I forgot to mention that Superman moves the moon in this. Pre-Crisis Superman this must be.


Superman Season: Film Review No.232: Superman 3

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So Richard Donner has difficulty working with the producers of Superman The Movie but makes a very successful film. As a rewards he is fired and the sequel he had mostly shot gets chopped apart and butchered into something else. Richard Lest shoots his version of Superman 2, gets on really well with the producers because they’re all best friends but makes a film that makes half of what the first made. His reward is getting to make another Superman film. Proof if ever it was needed that being best chums with those in charge is more important than actually being good at your job. SO, what kind of film did this partnership create this time? Click the link to find out.

How much drink would a Superman drink if a Superman could get drunk?


Superman Season: Film Review No.231: Superman 2 – The Richard Donner Cut

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Well this is the first time I’ve reviewed the same film twice. Although if ever do my planned Blade Runner season I may end up reviewing the same film 5 times. Anyway, The Richard Donner cut of Superman 2 is essentially the closest we’ll ever get to seeing the film he intended to make. During the 19 month long filming of Superman 1 and 2 Donner shot around 75% of the second film. When he was unceremoniously dropped from the sequels production Richard Lester took over and had to re-shoot a large portion of the film in order to take the sole directors credit. Around 20% of Donner’s work survived in the final film, the rest stored away never to be seen again. That was until a few websites and a lot of fans banded together to get that footage recovered by Warner Bros. It worked and eventually Richard Donner was invited to work on finally making his cut of the film. So, how is this original director’s vision of the film that was nearly 30 years in the making? Click the link to find out.

If the only change was not having that cellophane S I would have labelled this as a triumph for that alone.


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