Category Archives: M

GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.288: Mothra Vs Godzilla

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Why yes that is the poster for the Americanised version of Mothra Vs Godzilla. For some reason they opted to called it Godzilla vs The Thing and decided to hide just what “The Thing” was. Hell, looks like it’ll be some tentacle monster there. God bless the Hollywood B-Movie studio system of the 1960s. Anyway, this film is Mothra Vs Godzilla and it’s about Mothra fighting Godzilla. Well, there’s some stuff about an egg and some crooks… also some tiny little ladies… but mostly it’s about a giant moth fighting a giant dino-lizard guy. Click the link below to read what I hilariously call a review!

Scream, bug-eyed, as he looks in on them.

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Film Review No.263: Men In Black 3

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Back in the year 1997 Barry Sonnenfeld got together with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones to give them kids of the 90s a little sci-fi fun in the form of Men In Black. Based on the Lowell Cunningham comic it told the story of a New York cop recruited by a secret organisation tasked with policing alien life on Earth. The film was a lot of fun, partly in thanks to slightly 80s attitude of asking the audience to just go along for the ridiculous ride. It didn’t take itself too seriously and so it managed to elevate itself above potential stupidity. A fine and enjoyable film. Its sequel was bollocks, far too concerned with showing zany and wacky aliens then telling an actual story. I was not planning on seeing Men in Black 3 partly because of how disappointing the second film was and this feeling that it existed to push Will Smith and sideline Tommy Lee Jones, cos he’s all old and stuff and Will Smith really needs a hit film. Last night there wasn’t much on TV and I was after a film to watch. Men in Black 3 was starting in a few minutes so I figured “what the hell”. Men in Black 3 is a good film. Click the jump for reasons.

Awww hell nawww!


Superman Season: Film Review No.235: Man Of Steel

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It would be wrong of me to start this review without a little bit of history. Mostly because it has become a habit of mine over the course of these Superman film reviews. So here it is. Man of Steel was originally the title for the sequel to Superman Returns. Right, that’s out the way, now onto the review. Click the link to find out what I thought of Man of Steel!

Up, up and away!!!


Film Review No.215: Mulholland Drive

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Well, here I am again, reviewing a film I’d have rather avoided. As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes I’ll cover a film that’s in the upper tier of film making. A film that has been studied and discussed so many times that whatever I have to write about it will have been discussed before. Also, there’s a good chance I’ll interpret something one way that many disagree with. Luckily for me hardly anyone ever bothers commenting on this blog so I suppose I can interpret Mulholland Drive anyway I want. Except I kind of can’t because Mulholland Drive is a film that I studied years back in College and so I am one of those people that have written and discussed it’s themes and story telling devices already. So, click the link below for my review… or go download Surgeon Simulator 2013 cos it’s really quite hilarious. Surgeon Simulator 2013 has nothing to do with Mulholland Drive, I just wanted to share how funny that game was. Anyway, on with the review.

Silencio… Silencio……. SILENCIO!!!!!!


Film Review No.202: Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol

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How old is Tom Cruise now? Gotta be like 55 surely. It’s actually 50? Fair enough. Feels like he’s been around forever. You’d think his dubious mental state and the fact he belongs to a religious cult that grossly exaggerates it’s numbers as well as having some very dubious practices would have waned his star power over the years. But here we are at the fourth entry in the Mission Impossible film series. For a 50 year old Cruise is looking pretty youthful. Maybe there’s something in this Star Trek cult of his.

Someone should really do a new series of Mission Impossible.


Film Review No.183: Moonraker

“Hey it’s 1979 and you know what was just a really big hit? That Star Wars thing! Lets make James Bond like Star Wars! I’m sure it wont be a big stupid mess at all!” Now I have no idea if those words were ever spoken by Albert R “Cubby” Broccoli but I’d like to think that he would have said those exact words at some point in this film’s production. The end of the credits to The Spy Who Loved Me said the next Bond film would be For Your Eyes Only, but because Star Wars had just been a huge hit Cubby decided to adapt the Bond novel that had something to do with space in the title. Realising the book of Moonraker wasn’t sci-fi enough for him Cubby had the villain retained and pretty much everything else scrapped in favour of what I’m reviewing tonight, Moonraker AKA Bond goes to space and all logic is tossed out the window. Click the link below!!!

Moonraker! Da daa daaa! He’s the man, the man that rakes the Moon!


Film Review No.181: The Man With The Golden Gun

I do love the posters from this era of Bond. They have a uniform design that runs though each but are valid pieces of art in their own right. Plus you can pretty much see the whole film in one image. Anyway, on to Roger Moore 2, The Man With A Third Nipple. Now we haven’t quite reached the more troublesome Bond films yet. But, as with live And Let Die, there are signs that something is not quite right. Click the link for the review!

Was a third nipple the most mysterious identifying mark they could come up with?


Film Review No.107: Melancholia

Apologies first for my total failure to bring you a review of John Carter this week. I am short of funds and my local cinema is only showing the 3D version with a £2.50 price hike for the pleasure of added eye strain. Sod that basically. Next week maybe, it seems to be doing OK here in the UK. So in it’s place I have a review for a movie about a planet that’s gonna collide with Earth and only Bruce Willis and a crack team of oil drillers can stop it. Doesn’t look like a Michael Bay film though. No mention of Bruce. Why is Kirsten Dunst having a piss on a golf course? Directed by Lars Von Trier? oh…. ohhh.

Yes, Dunst gets em out…


Movie Review No.58: Machete

Hit a bit of a milestone here. This review is post number 100 on The Film Dump. That means I’ve posted 42 items of random stuff and trailers. Been thinking about doing the odd, possibly ill informed, article about movies, the industry and filming techniques. Basically anything that tickles my fancy at the time. Speaking of filming techniques… When did become normal to purposely make poorly constructed films under the disguise of being “Grindhouse”?

What the hell happened to Steven Segal?


Movie Review No.50: Mortal Kombat Annihilation

It dawned on me earlier this week that in the space of a little over 3 months I had written nearly 50 movie reviews. If I keep this pace up I could do 200 in a year. Is that good going? How many does Ebert do in a year? Does Google want to pay me to do this? All are questions that I’d like to be answered with the word “yes”. Even the second one. Anyway, I figured I should pick out a film that means something to me. A film that managed to kill dead my interest in a whole franchise for a number of years. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Citizen Kane of movies referred to ironically as the Citizen Kane of videogame based movies… Mortal Kombat Annihilation.

I hope everyone involved in this film gets herpes.


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