Well, here I am again, reviewing a film I’d have rather avoided. As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes I’ll cover a film that’s in the upper tier of film making. A film that has been studied and discussed so many times that whatever I have to write about it will have been discussed before. Also, there’s a good chance I’ll interpret something one way that many disagree with. Luckily for me hardly anyone ever bothers commenting on this blog so I suppose I can interpret Mulholland Drive anyway I want. Except I kind of can’t because Mulholland Drive is a film that I studied years back in College and so I am one of those people that have written and discussed it’s themes and story telling devices already. So, click the link below for my review… or go download Surgeon Simulator 2013 cos it’s really quite hilarious. Surgeon Simulator 2013 has nothing to do with Mulholland Drive, I just wanted to share how funny that game was. Anyway, on with the review.
Category Archives: M
How old is Tom Cruise now? Gotta be like 55 surely. It’s actually 50? Fair enough. Feels like he’s been around forever. You’d think his dubious mental state and the fact he belongs to a religious cult that grossly exaggerates it’s numbers as well as having some very dubious practices would have waned his star power over the years. But here we are at the fourth entry in the Mission Impossible film series. For a 50 year old Cruise is looking pretty youthful. Maybe there’s something in this Star Trek cult of his.
“Hey it’s 1979 and you know what was just a really big hit? That Star Wars thing! Lets make James Bond like Star Wars! I’m sure it wont be a big stupid mess at all!” Now I have no idea if those words were ever spoken by Albert R “Cubby” Broccoli but I’d like to think that he would have said those exact words at some point in this film’s production. The end of the credits to The Spy Who Loved Me said the next Bond film would be For Your Eyes Only, but because Star Wars had just been a huge hit Cubby decided to adapt the Bond novel that had something to do with space in the title. Realising the book of Moonraker wasn’t sci-fi enough for him Cubby had the villain retained and pretty much everything else scrapped in favour of what I’m reviewing tonight, Moonraker AKA Bond goes to space and all logic is tossed out the window. Click the link below!!!
I do love the posters from this era of Bond. They have a uniform design that runs though each but are valid pieces of art in their own right. Plus you can pretty much see the whole film in one image. Anyway, on to Roger Moore 2, The Man With A Third Nipple. Now we haven’t quite reached the more troublesome Bond films yet. But, as with live And Let Die, there are signs that something is not quite right. Click the link for the review!
Apologies first for my total failure to bring you a review of John Carter this week. I am short of funds and my local cinema is only showing the 3D version with a £2.50 price hike for the pleasure of added eye strain. Sod that basically. Next week maybe, it seems to be doing OK here in the UK. So in it’s place I have a review for a movie about a planet that’s gonna collide with Earth and only Bruce Willis and a crack team of oil drillers can stop it. Doesn’t look like a Michael Bay film though. No mention of Bruce. Why is Kirsten Dunst having a piss on a golf course? Directed by Lars Von Trier? oh…. ohhh.
Hit a bit of a milestone here. This review is post number 100 on The Film Dump. That means I’ve posted 42 items of random stuff and trailers. Been thinking about doing the odd, possibly ill informed, article about movies, the industry and filming techniques. Basically anything that tickles my fancy at the time. Speaking of filming techniques… When did become normal to purposely make poorly constructed films under the disguise of being “Grindhouse”?
It dawned on me earlier this week that in the space of a little over 3 months I had written nearly 50 movie reviews. If I keep this pace up I could do 200 in a year. Is that good going? How many does Ebert do in a year? Does Google want to pay me to do this? All are questions that I’d like to be answered with the word “yes”. Even the second one. Anyway, I figured I should pick out a film that means something to me. A film that managed to kill dead my interest in a whole franchise for a number of years. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Citizen Kane of movies referred to ironically as the Citizen Kane of videogame based movies… Mortal Kombat Annihilation.
Monsters is the lowest budget big budget monster movie of all time. Sorta, because that sentence makes no sense, but it kind of does. See Monsters was made on a budget of around $500,000 which is pretty damn minuscule but it’s setting, plot and effects are very much of the big budget movie variety. It’s also one of the most impressive feats in independent film making ever made. What makes this such an impressive film? Click the link to find out.
So yeah. First review and I choose Mortal Kombat. The epic martial arts film directed by then fresh faced up-and-comer Paul Anderson before he got that W and a supermodel wife and became possibly the most prolific hack in Hollywood. Why review this film? Cos I just watched it and them’s the rules.