Category Archives: G

GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.289: Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster

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Notice a trend with the last few Godzilla film’s I’ve reviewed? He still hasn’t been given top billing in any film made since 1955. Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster isn’t even the last of these early films to keep this trend up either. The next film is Invasion of the Astro Monster. After that is Godzilla Vs The Sea Monster, except that’s the US title. The actual title is Ebirah, Horror of the Deep. After that is Son of Godzilla, where he’s playing second fiddle to his irritating offspring. It’s not until 1971s Godzilla Vs Hedorah that we get a definite film where Godzilla gets top billing. It is kind of strange for the main attraction of these films to never get his name in the title. None of that really matters though. I was just trying to find something to fill this opening paragraph with before asking you to click the link below for my review of Ghidorah, The Three Headed Monster.

he picks up a bus and he throws it back down

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GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.286: Godzilla Raids Again

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So my review of Gojira went up yesterday and right after I was done with that I moved straight onto watching its sequel, Godzilla Raids Again. I had never seen this entry in the series before. There’s quite a few Godzilla films I haven’t seen, to be honest. Not surprising considering how much off a ball-ache it is to actually acquire these things. Godzilla Raids Again is the film that laid the groundwork for the monster Vs monster films that would come to be the main focus of the series from this point onwards. I believe, off the top of my head, only 2 Godzilla films made after this point didn’t feature a second monster. And one of those was the Roland Emmerich film that didn’t even feature Godzilla. This film features Godzilla though, so it’s all good. Click the link below or something.

He pulls the splitting high tension wires down


GODZILLA SEASON: Film Review No.285: Gojira

Gojira-2

Back when I was a youngster of some variety formerly decent British TV Channel, Channel 4, set up a film sister channel called Film 4. This was back in 1998, which means the variety of youngster I was would have been a 16 year old. Early on they did a few nights of Godzilla films and it was then that I saw the original Godzilla. Before this point I had seen the 1998 abomination “starring” Matthew Broderick and a number of random Godzilla films on VHS. The original Godzilla, or Gojira as it probably should be referred to in order to differentiate itself from the previously mentioned US film and the upcoming reboot, was a very different film to the ones I had seen before. It was slower paced, darker and there was no other monsters in sight. Also it was in Japanese. At this point, if you did see a Godzilla film, it would have likely been the English dubbed versions which often edited down from their original versions. This was the first Godzilla film I had seen without it being presented through the distorted lens of a US film studio. This was the real Godzilla experience. I watched the film again last night for the first time in a long, long time. How did it hold up? Click the link below.

With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound


Film Review No.273: Ghostbusters

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Ghostbusters is one of those films that I grew up with. I’d bet that any child of the 80s grew up watching the Ghostbusters film, the animated series and playing with the toys. Pretty sure every child of the 80s can be prompted to sing the theme tune at the drop of the hat. They’ll also answer without hesitation to the question… “is this true?” with “yes, it’s true, this man has no dick”.What? You expected a different question? That would have been too obvious. You know what else will be obvious? Where my views of the film lie. Click the link to not be surprised.

I invite all my clients to this review so I can write it off as a tax expense.


Film Review No.222: G.I. Joe Retaliation

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What’s this? Two film reviews in the space of a week? It’s almost as if I have more spare time on my hands suddenly. Yay for redundancy!!! Anyway, decided to take a trip to the cinema today to see G.I. Joe Retaliation because, well, I had nothing better to do. Other than find a new job I mean. I’ve reviewed the two previous G.I. Joe films on the blog already so I figured it would be a good idea to get the trifecta. This film is a direct sequel to the Channing Tatum starring G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra from 2009. That film was fecking awful. A lazy, poorly made and badly written piece of tripe that at least had the decency to know it was tripe. G.I. Joe Retaliation also knows it is tripe, but you know what it isn’t? Lazy or poorly made. What? You expected me to say it was well written too? C’mon, this is G.I. Joe we’re talking about. Click the link for the full review.

Yo Joe!!!.. I used that before didn’t I? COBRA-LALALALALALALALALALALALAL!!!


Film Review No.219: G.I. Joe: The Movie

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I fecking hate the G.I. Joe movie that came out in cinemas a couple of years back. It was a completely lazily produced, poorly written and horribly made turd of a film. Despite that I’m actually looking forward to seeing G.I. Joe Retaliation. Mostly because of it having The Rock in it, who is pretty much an instant fun elevator for any film, but also because it actually looks like real things are in the film and some effort has been made to make some of the action scenes at least stand out on a visual level. When I was a lad G.I. Joe (Or Action Force as it was called here in the UK) was always second fiddle to my love of Transformers. I only owned 1 G.I. Joe video, compared to the mass of Transformers ones I owned. That said, I enjoyed the shit out of the series and all their silly adventures, and no adventure was sillier than their 1987 animated movie. How silly is G.I. Joe: The Movie? Burgess Meredith provides the voice of the leader of a civilisation of snake people. That’s how silly it gets. Click the link for further descriptions of silliness.

COBRAAAAAAcoughcoughcough


Film Review No.204: God Bless America

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Well, the world didn’t end. I guess that means I have to continue on my quest to review every single film I watch. Today I review Bobcat Goldthwait’s God Bless America. A film in which a middle aged man finds himself at a low point in his life due to the acts of others and so enlists the help of a young woman to gradually dispense his own form of justice on those that have contributed to the ruination of the modern world. Sounds awfully familiar… This guy doesn’t dress up in a red superhero suit you say? Oh well that makes all the difference! Click the link for my review.

Pretty lass that Tara Lynne Barr.


Film Review No.189: GoldenEye

That’s an awkward capital “e” in the title isn’t it. Apparently that’s the correct spelling though. Guess I should adhere to it. Although based on my spelling and grammar you’d have to question why I’d start now. Anyway, Pierce Brosnan ladies and gents! Like Timothy Dalton before him Brosnan had been approached about playing Bond multiple times before. He came closest when The Living Daylights was due to enter production but the producers of the TV series Remington Steele, in which Brosnan was starring at the time, decided they wanted to make another 5 episodes. This caused a clash in schedules and so Dalton got the lead. After all sorts of legal wrangling caused production of Bond films to cease for a few years Brosnan was called up to finally take the role for the relaunch of the James Bond franchise, GoldenEye. So, was the film a success in a time when many felt Bond had had his day? Click the link to find out! Or remember the film cos you’ve probably seen it… Or you notice that there are still Bond films today…. Yes, it was a success.

No, no, no… No more forewords.


Film Review No.174: Goldfinger

It’s time for Bond to get fully action packed and all blockbuster sized today with Goldfinger. This was the first of the series to be made with what was then considered a large budget of $3 million and just as From Russia With Love upped the scale so too does Goldfinger in equal measure. I call From Russia With love one of my favourites, many consider Goldfinger the best. I do not. So I guess you should click on the link to read my thoughts on this film. Or not, see if I care…. Please do.

Such a cold finger could easily click this link.


Film Review No.123: The Guard

You know what’s nice? When a well known and much lauded actor realises that he or she isn’t too big to appear in smaller films. Don Cheadle is a very well known actor these days he’s one of those guys that seems to have no ego. He’s been in award winning films like Hotel Rwanda and summer blockbuster fun like Iron Man 2. Here The Don…. nah that won’t stick… appears in The Guard alongside one of Ireland’s finest, Brendan Gleeson. The Guard is best/lazily described as Lethal Weapon meets Father Ted. Or maybe a darker Irish version of Hot Fuzz. Click the link for my review!

Cliceáil an nasc seo


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