What’s this? Two film reviews in the space of a week? It’s almost as if I have more spare time on my hands suddenly. Yay for redundancy!!! Anyway, decided to take a trip to the cinema today to see G.I. Joe Retaliation because, well, I had nothing better to do. Other than find a new job I mean. I’ve reviewed the two previous G.I. Joe films on the blog already so I figured it would be a good idea to get the trifecta. This film is a direct sequel to the Channing Tatum starring G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra from 2009. That film was fecking awful. A lazy, poorly made and badly written piece of tripe that at least had the decency to know it was tripe. G.I. Joe Retaliation also knows it is tripe, but you know what it isn’t? Lazy or poorly made. What? You expected me to say it was well written too? C’mon, this is G.I. Joe we’re talking about. Click the link for the full review.
Category Archives: G
I fecking hate the G.I. Joe movie that came out in cinemas a couple of years back. It was a completely lazily produced, poorly written and horribly made turd of a film. Despite that I’m actually looking forward to seeing G.I. Joe Retaliation. Mostly because of it having The Rock in it, who is pretty much an instant fun elevator for any film, but also because it actually looks like real things are in the film and some effort has been made to make some of the action scenes at least stand out on a visual level. When I was a lad G.I. Joe (Or Action Force as it was called here in the UK) was always second fiddle to my love of Transformers. I only owned 1 G.I. Joe video, compared to the mass of Transformers ones I owned. That said, I enjoyed the shit out of the series and all their silly adventures, and no adventure was sillier than their 1987 animated movie. How silly is G.I. Joe: The Movie? Burgess Meredith provides the voice of the leader of a civilisation of snake people. That’s how silly it gets. Click the link for further descriptions of silliness.
Well, the world didn’t end. I guess that means I have to continue on my quest to review every single film I watch. Today I review Bobcat Goldthwait’s God Bless America. A film in which a middle aged man finds himself at a low point in his life due to the acts of others and so enlists the help of a young woman to gradually dispense his own form of justice on those that have contributed to the ruination of the modern world. Sounds awfully familiar… This guy doesn’t dress up in a red superhero suit you say? Oh well that makes all the difference! Click the link for my review.
That’s an awkward capital “e” in the title isn’t it. Apparently that’s the correct spelling though. Guess I should adhere to it. Although based on my spelling and grammar you’d have to question why I’d start now. Anyway, Pierce Brosnan ladies and gents! Like Timothy Dalton before him Brosnan had been approached about playing Bond multiple times before. He came closest when The Living Daylights was due to enter production but the producers of the TV series Remington Steele, in which Brosnan was starring at the time, decided they wanted to make another 5 episodes. This caused a clash in schedules and so Dalton got the lead. After all sorts of legal wrangling caused production of Bond films to cease for a few years Brosnan was called up to finally take the role for the relaunch of the James Bond franchise, GoldenEye. So, was the film a success in a time when many felt Bond had had his day? Click the link to find out! Or remember the film cos you’ve probably seen it… Or you notice that there are still Bond films today…. Yes, it was a success.
It’s time for Bond to get fully action packed and all blockbuster sized today with Goldfinger. This was the first of the series to be made with what was then considered a large budget of $3 million and just as From Russia With Love upped the scale so too does Goldfinger in equal measure. I call From Russia With love one of my favourites, many consider Goldfinger the best. I do not. So I guess you should click on the link to read my thoughts on this film. Or not, see if I care…. Please do.
You know what’s nice? When a well known and much lauded actor realises that he or she isn’t too big to appear in smaller films. Don Cheadle is a very well known actor these days he’s one of those guys that seems to have no ego. He’s been in award winning films like Hotel Rwanda and summer blockbuster fun like Iron Man 2. Here The Don…. nah that won’t stick… appears in The Guard alongside one of Ireland’s finest, Brendan Gleeson. The Guard is best/lazily described as Lethal Weapon meets Father Ted. Or maybe a darker Irish version of Hot Fuzz. Click the link for my review!
The Film Dump is just 1 day removed from being a year old as of the posting of this review and in that year I have reviewed my fair share of super hero themed movies. In fact later this week I’ll be reviewing the ultimate super hero movie, The Avengers. The last few years though have brought us an influx of post modern super hero movies. I’ve reviewed 3 that would fit into that category over the last year (Super, Defendor and Chronicle) so what’s one more before The Avengers shaped juggernaut comes rolling through? Click the link for my review of Griff The Invisible.
So I’m getting near to the 100th review on here (What will it be?) so I thought I’d up the ante in preparation. Then I decided to watch Gleaming The Cube instead. Here’s a film I had not seen since I was about 8 years old. All I could remember was that it was incredibly 80s, Christian Slater was in it and there was this awesome bit where he made an impossibly long jump to clobber a guy with his rad new board. Oh and his skateboarding double during the end credits looked nothing like him. That’s because it was a young Rodney Mullen, king of the flatland trick. So what was Gleaming The Cube like 21 years later? Click the jump to find out!
I wonder how many films of the 93 I’ve reviewed so far have either been remakes, based on a book with multiple film adaptations or have been remade. Well here’s another. It’s David Fincher’s adaptation of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Now I haven’t read the books but I do own the three Swedish films. Is this a remake that falls into the pointless category ala Let Me In and A Nightmare On Elm Street? Or is it a worthy revisit to the source material as True Grit was? I had guess you had better click the following link to find out. Or you could read review by someone else. I won’t be hurt.
Yesterday I reviewed a film that, while not terrible, was just a shameless cash in on an established franchise. Today I review G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra which a far more shameless and quite often lazily produced attempt to cash in on a toy line the average parent these days will remember with fond memories from their youth. Of course I’m talking about the Action Force toys. Because fuck G.I. Joe. Action Force’s theme tune was far cooler. Click on the link for the review… and the Action Force theme.