Category Archives: B

Film Review No.326: Big Trouble In Little China


So last weekend I went to a queuing convention held outside the London Film & Comic Con. When the Queuing convention was over, and event that ran for 6 hours in a 30 degree heat with no shade, I decided to pop into the LFCC for a laugh and see if there was anything worth getting. As it was nearly 16:30 I was too late entering to meet Stan Lee so instead I went to the Arrow Films booth and purchased a set of blu rays. The lovely young lady working there even gave me a discount. My haul included today’s film along with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The House By The Cemetery, Cinema Paradiso and (ahem) The Exterminator. These will likely be the next set of films I review. So tonight we start with John Carpenter’s classic fusion of east meets west with Big Trouble in Little China. Click below for that review I mentioned.

It’s all in the reflexes.

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Film Review No.324: Body Melt


It has taken me nearly a week to get around to writing this review. I’d like to say it was my usual bout of laziness but, in reality, it’s because it has taken me this long to figure out roughly what I should be saying about Body Melt. This is one of those films that is so off centre that it can be hard to really ascertain exactly what you have seen. Click the link below to see if I did make any sense of Body Melt!

melts in your mouth.

Film Review No.284: Barbarella


So a while back I figured what type of films got me the most views. It seems that the formula basically involves reviewing a film that is full of sexiness and stuff. This was figured out when I noticed that my review of Showgirls was by far and away the most viewed review I have ever done. Also, my Blue is the Warmest Colour review pulled in a load of views in its first day. That had sexy ladies in it too. So, before I start Godzilla month (oh yes, that’s happening) allow me to introduce you to one of my favourite sexy films of all time. That film is Barbarella. Which you probably guessed based on the title of this review… and the fact there’s a pic of Jane Fonda as Barbarella up there… Also, there’s a good chance you Google searched for “Barabarella with shirt off” to find this site. Click the link below to see if I provide such a pic!

Will this review feature hot topless Jane Fonda action? You won’t believe what you see when you click this link!

Film Review No.282: Blood Diamond


Every once in a while I like to review one of them films that’s all like “I’m big and important! Listen to me!” and ones that lazy critics call “an unflinching portrayal of X that cuts to your core or some shit.”. Today’s film fits both of those categories by being about all sorts of important human rights issues and war and stuff that requires Leonardo DiCaprio to pursue an Oscar again. Blood Diamond is a story set during the conflicts in Sierra Leone at the end of the 20th century when child soldiers were used to fight wars that propagated the selling of diamonds mined from conflict zones in Africa. Millions of African people were forced to leave their home towns to become refugees from a conflict they played no part in over a commodity they would likely never see. There’s a potentially strong and worthwhile story to tell here. Does Blood Diamond manage that? Click the link below for my thoughts.

All actors should be judged on their South African accents

Film Review No.278: Blue Is The Warmest Colour


Fine! I’ll watch an actually critically praised and award winning film that will likely scoop the best foreign language Oscar… wait, what do you mean it’s not even nominated? Not even a performance nomination? What… the… hell? So I admit I’ve seen worryingly few of the films that are nominated for Oscars this year. In fact I’ve only seen 2 films nominated for Oscars and both are in the special effects category, so they don’t really count… but really? Blue is the Warmest Colour isn’t up for a single one? Click the link to allow me to tell you why it probably should be. I mean, the other films in best foreign language may be better… I dunno… but this film is exemplary.

Blue, as a colour, actually evokes feelings of cold. The title is a lie.

Film Review No.264: Battle Royale


For one of them British people like me it’s kind of insane for me to consider the idea that Battle Royale was not available in a home release form in the U.S. until 2012. It is entirely understandable though what with the alarming frequency of school shootings that have happened over the years, something that is, thankfully, very rare in the UK. We don’t have a history of violent gun crime amongst teenagers and maybe the thought of Battle Royale, a film that revolves around teenagers forced to kill each other off, struck too much of a nerve with U.S. distributors and the mess of an organisation that is the MPAA. So I understand that, as most of my views come from the U.S. there is a good chance that whoever reads this may not have seen Battle Royale. There may be some spoilers ahead, but please do read on, because Battle Royale is a film that needs to be seen as it is one of the most important works of cinema since the turn of the century. Click the link below.

Chiaki Kuriyama is in this. She’s a lovely lady.

Film Review No.261: Best Worst Movie


I may have mentioned this before but Troll 2 is pretty much some kind of work of cinematic genius. By “some kind of” I mean somewhere between Manos Hands of Fate and Citizen Kane. I’m not sure exactly where it sits, but it is clearly between those two films. Best Worst Movie follows the cult fandom of Troll 2 that has built over the course of nearly 2 decades after it’s initial release. The film explores why Troll 2 is so adored and how that adoration has effected the lives of the cast and the film’s director Claudio Fragasso. Quite brilliantly this documentary is directed by possibly the best person for the job, star of Troll 2, Michael Stephenson. Click the link for my totally unbiased review of Best Worst Movie!

What are you going to do to me daddy?

Film Review No.224: Barton Fink


I try to make sure most of the films I cover on this here blog are ones I have never seen before. There’s two reasons for this. If I watch a film I have seen before it will likely be one I love and therefore the review will probably be overly gushing with my love of that film. The other is because I hope to introduce people to new films at the same pace I come across them. Essentially I want to be saying “Hey, I just saw this film and now you should too”, unless you’ve already seen it, of course. Well, I suppose I should also be saying “Hey, I saw this pile of shite. Do not watch”. Today’s film is, thankfully, from the recommended viewing camp. It’s also a film which I probably should have seen years ago as it represents a gap in my viewing of Coen Brothers films. Today’s film is Barton Fink. Click the link!

You just don’t listen Fink

Film Review No.216: Battleship Potemkin


In my last review, for Mulholland Drive, I remarked that I don’t enjoy writing reviews of unquestionably great films. I find writing those reviews a taxing experience due to the fact that whatever I write will have been written a million times before. Plus I generally assume that if you’re reading these reviews you’re already fairly knowledgeable in the world of film and are likely familiar with the work already. But I made a decision nearly 2 years ago to review every film I see and, after watching Mark Cousins’ superb The Story Of Film, I have found myself building a collection of classic films I have never seen. And so here I am, with a BFI restoration of Battleship Potemkin, one of the most important films ever made. Often placed at the top of greatest film ever lists and possibly the origin on montage film and the use of editing to manipulate the audiences emotional links to the character. Also, the most praised propaganda film of all time without question. Yes, more so the The Hurt Locker. Well then, click the link for my review. I promise to review something simpler next time.


Film Review No.155: Batman Begins

And so it begins. Batman Begins to be exact. Here’s where we start edging towards the finale on this marathon of Batman movies I’ve been reviewing. We’re in Nolan territory now! Batman Begins came into being after 8 years of attempts by Warner to do whatever they could to wash the bad taste of Batman & Robin from the worlds collective conscience. Truth be told nothing will ever wash that smell off of Batman. Nolan does a damn good job trying to though. Click the link for my review!

Why do we fall? So we can learn to not be such clumsy twats.


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