Category Archives: B

HORROR WEEK 2014: Film Review No.344: A Bay of Blood

Bay-of-blood-2

AKA Twitch of the Death Nerve. AKA Bloodbath. AKA The film that kinda started it all. Well, if by “all” you mean “slasher movies”, which is a statement I kinda disagree with a little. Kinda. Don’t lynch me! I don’t debate that Bay of Blood laid the template many slasher films, especially Friday The 13th, would follow. But I’d argue that the concept of a slasher movie had existed for decade in Psycho, Peeping Tom and even Kind Hearts and Coronets. The idea of a serial killer taking out many, many, people wasn’t new. But Bay of Blood did, certainly, add a whole lot of gore and established a bunch of new tropes. Click the link below for me saying what I think of the film itself.

A twitch of the mouse click nerve.

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Film Review No.337: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure 1

You know when you get the sudden urge to just watch a film? This wasn’t one of those situations. For week’s now all sorts of crappy crap has been going on with people harassing anyone that dares to be a woman, or even stand up for what a woman dares to say on the internet, and it all got me quite fed up. I just don’t understand harassing someone over the internet, or at all. All I keep thinking about is how they must have missed seeing Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure in their youth. I say this because the film contains possibly the greatest and most beautifully simple piece of philosophy of modern times. A simple idea with which we should carry ourselves in order to not be crappy people. That being “be excellent to each other, and party on dudes”. It’s so simple it should be written on money or something. Anyway, let’s talk about how good Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure actually is. Click the link.

Party on dudes!


Film Review No.326: Big Trouble In Little China

Big-Trouble-In-Little-China-4

So last weekend I went to a queuing convention held outside the London Film & Comic Con. When the Queuing convention was over, and event that ran for 6 hours in a 30 degree heat with no shade, I decided to pop into the LFCC for a laugh and see if there was anything worth getting. As it was nearly 16:30 I was too late entering to meet Stan Lee so instead I went to the Arrow Films booth and purchased a set of blu rays. The lovely young lady working there even gave me a discount. My haul included today’s film along with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The House By The Cemetery, Cinema Paradiso and (ahem) The Exterminator. These will likely be the next set of films I review. So tonight we start with John Carpenter’s classic fusion of east meets west with Big Trouble in Little China. Click below for that review I mentioned.

It’s all in the reflexes.


Film Review No.324: Body Melt

Body-Melt-1

It has taken me nearly a week to get around to writing this review. I’d like to say it was my usual bout of laziness but, in reality, it’s because it has taken me this long to figure out roughly what I should be saying about Body Melt. This is one of those films that is so off centre that it can be hard to really ascertain exactly what you have seen. Click the link below to see if I did make any sense of Body Melt!

melts in your mouth.


Film Review No.284: Barbarella

Barbarella-1

So a while back I figured what type of films got me the most views. It seems that the formula basically involves reviewing a film that is full of sexiness and stuff. This was figured out when I noticed that my review of Showgirls was by far and away the most viewed review I have ever done. Also, my Blue is the Warmest Colour review pulled in a load of views in its first day. That had sexy ladies in it too. So, before I start Godzilla month (oh yes, that’s happening) allow me to introduce you to one of my favourite sexy films of all time. That film is Barbarella. Which you probably guessed based on the title of this review… and the fact there’s a pic of Jane Fonda as Barbarella up there… Also, there’s a good chance you Google searched for “Barabarella with shirt off” to find this site. Click the link below to see if I provide such a pic!

Will this review feature hot topless Jane Fonda action? You won’t believe what you see when you click this link!


Film Review No.282: Blood Diamond

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Every once in a while I like to review one of them films that’s all like “I’m big and important! Listen to me!” and ones that lazy critics call “an unflinching portrayal of X that cuts to your core or some shit.”. Today’s film fits both of those categories by being about all sorts of important human rights issues and war and stuff that requires Leonardo DiCaprio to pursue an Oscar again. Blood Diamond is a story set during the conflicts in Sierra Leone at the end of the 20th century when child soldiers were used to fight wars that propagated the selling of diamonds mined from conflict zones in Africa. Millions of African people were forced to leave their home towns to become refugees from a conflict they played no part in over a commodity they would likely never see. There’s a potentially strong and worthwhile story to tell here. Does Blood Diamond manage that? Click the link below for my thoughts.

All actors should be judged on their South African accents


Film Review No.278: Blue Is The Warmest Colour

Blue-Is-The-Warmest-Colour-2

Fine! I’ll watch an actually critically praised and award winning film that will likely scoop the best foreign language Oscar… wait, what do you mean it’s not even nominated? Not even a performance nomination? What… the… hell? So I admit I’ve seen worryingly few of the films that are nominated for Oscars this year. In fact I’ve only seen 2 films nominated for Oscars and both are in the special effects category, so they don’t really count… but really? Blue is the Warmest Colour isn’t up for a single one? Click the link to allow me to tell you why it probably should be. I mean, the other films in best foreign language may be better… I dunno… but this film is exemplary.

Blue, as a colour, actually evokes feelings of cold. The title is a lie.


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