I fecking hate the G.I. Joe movie that came out in cinemas a couple of years back. It was a completely lazily produced, poorly written and horribly made turd of a film. Despite that I’m actually looking forward to seeing G.I. Joe Retaliation. Mostly because of it having The Rock in it, who is pretty much an instant fun elevator for any film, but also because it actually looks like real things are in the film and some effort has been made to make some of the action scenes at least stand out on a visual level. When I was a lad G.I. Joe (Or Action Force as it was called here in the UK) was always second fiddle to my love of Transformers. I only owned 1 G.I. Joe video, compared to the mass of Transformers ones I owned. That said, I enjoyed the shit out of the series and all their silly adventures, and no adventure was sillier than their 1987 animated movie. How silly is G.I. Joe: The Movie? Burgess Meredith provides the voice of the leader of a civilisation of snake people. That’s how silly it gets. Click the link for further descriptions of silliness.
Category Archives: Animation
How long has it been since I did an anime review? -Checks all posts page on the dashboard- 4 months! That’s how long. Well that’s entirely too long. Guess I should correct that with one of the anime films that helped maintain the popularity of anime during it’s early to mid 90s heyday. Yes I said that was the heyday. A lot of what’s about now stinks. There, I said it. Shame Satoshi Kon died. He was really keeping the quality level high. Annnnyway, today I review Ninja Scroll. You know, that anime where the big rock dude rapes the poisoned girl. Why do so many of the films I cover seem to feature rape? What’s wrong with me? Click the link to find out!!!
First off, apologies for not doing a review for a whole week. Basically I’ve had a week off work and got myself some new toys to play with that will hopefully allow me to do a few new things around this here web blog thing. Hopefully what I’ve acquired will pay off and I won’t just get bored with the added effort they’ll require. Watch this space and all that for details. To make up for it I have two reviews coming, this one and one tomorrow, for films that I probably shouldn’t have bothered watching. But I have anyway because this is the slowest expanding movie review database on the internet and as such it needs to be filled. Slowly… like the dirty whore that it is. Also, before I start this review, yes I am aware that there is a picture of some kittens at the top of the page. You try finding tasteful screenshots from this film. Click the link for the review.
So I had no idea that this existed until I started searching for Batman films to review a few months back. It was never released here in the UK as far as I can tell and it’s based on a series that I gave up on halfway through it’s second season. There’s actually some unofficial Batman films from the 60s where he faces Dracula, obviously they’re lost to time, and Batman has faced vampires and Dracula himself in various incarnations of the comics. So this isn’t actually that batty a premise. Yes I’m still doing Bat-puns. Naturally I had to buy this because I like Batman, I like vampires and I felt like padding out this review season a much as possible. Click the link for the review!
Clumsy title that. Batman & Mr Freeze Subzero is the second in the animated DC Universe Batman film. It had the unenviable task of following up the excellent Mask of The Phantasm, which is generally regarded as one of the bets Batman stories. Quite wisely the series creators decided to not retread any ground and instead utilised a villain that they had helped reinvent. There’s an episode of TAS called Heart Of Ice that may well be one of the most highly regarded Batman stories of all time. In it Paul Dini took Mr Freeze, a villain that had largely been a joke, and gave him an incredible new origin story. Subzero uses the core of that origin to tell a new story giving Mr Freeze the focus he deserved. Click the link for the review…
I was gonna review Batman Sub-Zero tonight but I only have 1 multi region DVD player and it was unavailable to me tonight so instead I skipped ahead to Mystery Of The Batwoman. Not a bad idea though really because I’ve never seen this one before. It means this review is a much fresher opinion rather than one effected by years of Bat-nostalgia. Can’t believe there’s less than a week until I see The Dark Knight Rises… and I still have 4 films to review before that, not counting tonight’s review. So, Mystery Of The Batwoman eh?…
Been wanting to get to this film for some time. As you may have guessed from a few of my previous Batman reviews I’m quite the fan of the 90s animated series. Mask Of The Phantasm was the first feature length film based on that series. It is also, so date, the only animated Batman film to receive the theatrical release. To add to that it’s one of the most highly rated of all the Batman films. For a while it was the highest rated on Rotten Tomatoes, Until the Dark knight was released. Yup, it was higher rated than Burton’s Batman and Batman Begins. There’s a very good reason for this which you can read all about after the jump…
I wasn’t sure if I should include this in my Batman season but it has the words “Batman” and “Movie” in the title so I guess my hands were tied. The reason I would have discounted it was because A) It’s actually 3 episodes of the Superman animated series tied together and 3) isn’t even an hour long. Considering I currently have 8 days to get through another 6 Batman films before The Dark knight Rises is released, plus my super secret 150th review choice, I may have made the wrong decision. Luckily The Batman Superman Movie proved to be a pretty enjoyable piece of cobbled together Bat-tainment. Nope, I’m not done with the bat puns. That 1966 film has had an effect on me. Click the Bat-link to read my review.
Batman Under The Red Hood is about the time Batman picked up a sexually transmitted disease from whatever random superwoman he was banging at the time. OK, it’s not but it could have been. So apologies for that image I just gave you. Batman Under The Red Hood is actually and adaptation of the Under The Hood storyline from a few years back. It starts with the death of everyone’s least favourite Robin Jason Todd and continues 5 years later with the arrival of a villain using the Red Hood name who’s planning on controlling all crime in Gotham. I’ll give you until you’ve clicked the link to guess who The Red Hood actually is.
The origin of Batman is easily one of the most repeated and played out in all of comic book history. In the film world Tim Burton went over the basics and tied the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents to The Joker causing a kind of you created me/I created you dichotomy to the hero/villain relationship. People didn’t like that. Batman Begins is the only feature film to have covered the entire story from start to finish though. Before Batman Begins came about though Warner was working with Darren Aronofsky and Frank Miller in adapting Miller’s comic Batman Year One to the screen. Elements of it exist in Nolan’s film but the eventual collapse of the Year One project goes down as one of the greatest movie projects never made. Fast forward a number of years and good old guardian of all that’s animated in the DC Universe, Bruce Timm, convinced Warner to fund an animated adaptation of the Batman Year One comic. Well, I finally got around to watching it last night. Click the link for my review!