Category Archives: Genres

Film Review No.358: Doom

Doom-1

Why did I decide to watch Doom? I found myself perusing the various films Netflix has to offer on Saturday night with no idea what I should settle on. Jackie Chan films are now ruled out because they appear to all be dubbed… ick. Not much new that could be watched in under 2 hours was appealing. Eventually I just stumbled across Doom and thought “I haven’t watched that all the way through before” and suddenly I was watching it. Well… that wasn’t a great decision. I mean, the film isn’t the worst thing ever. It’s not even the worst game adaptation. It just, kinda, is. It exists. Allow me to go into detail right after that link below.

Hurt me plenty


Film Review No.357: The People Vs George Lucas

People vs George Lucas-1

Remember George Lucas? He was that guy that messed up Star Wars like a jerk and should be hated for it. Also, he made Star Wars so he’s pretty cool. He also made Howard: A New Breed of Hero which was terrible and so he’s terrible. Oh, and he wrote raiders of the Lost Ark which is fecking awesome. And thus you see the conflict at the heart of many a nerd and the subject of today’s film, The People vs George Lucas. Click the link below for an awesome review… or the worst bloody thing you’ve ever read.

In a few years I’ll remaster this with, like, way more digital Jawas or something


Film Review No.356: Da Sweet Blood Of Jesus

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So, yeah, I backed this film on Kickstarter. If you think that will effect my opinion of the film then, whatevs. That’s up to you. I see backing something on Kickstarter as being no different to buying a DVD. I’m just paying for it early. Anywho, Da Sweet Blood of Jesus is the latest Spike Lee joint, as he calls them… and so do many people. It’s a remake, of sorts, of Ganja & Hess. Which I’ve never seen because I can’t watch everything. Is the film any good though? Click below to find out.

Ya Dig?


Film Review No.355: Chinese Zodiac (CZ12)

Chinese-Zodiac-1

I like Jackie Chan. Actually, I really like Jackie Chan. My favourites aren’t the films many would pick though. I tend to lean more towards his traditional kung fu films than is stunt focused action flicks. That said, I have a huge amount of respect for how well shot, edited and choreographed his action films are. I grew up watching films like Police Story, Project A and Armour of God and they all feature the master at his best. So yeah, I prefer Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow and Drunken Master but have a lot of love for just how well made the 80’s and 90’s Chan films were. In the mid to late 90s he moved over to making American films primarily. He then aged and slowed down, as was probably likely, assuming my theory of him being immortal isn’t true. Not too long ago he returned to China and made, what’s been touted, as his last action film. That is this film, Chinese Zodiac. A reboot, of sorts, of the Armour of God series. How did the film turn out? Click the link below for my words on this matter.

Chinese BORE-diac more like!


Film Review No.354: 13 Assassins (2010)

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I don’t make new year’s resolutions, mostly because I’m a grumpy old twat, but mostly because I’m terrible at doing what I say I’ll do. Granted, that’s probably the point of a new year’s resolution but… that’s just, like, your opinion… man. What I aim to do this year, however, is get a more consistent review schedule going. There’s been a little slacking off due to my Youtube channel growing, which has led to me focusing more on that. The aim is to balance this out. Part of this balance includes picking out a more eclectic mix of films to review, which I’ll start with tonight by reviewing Takashi Miike’s remake of Eiichi Kudo’s 1963 film 13 Assassins. Click the link below for my review.

Samurai Jack could have handled this job single handed.


Christmas Day Special – Film Review No.353: Home Alone

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My rules for what constitutes a Christmas film is pretty simple. A) the film should be set at Christmas. Kind of a no brainer that. 2) The film should promote family togetherness over the pursuit of material things. And D) There should be at least some element of heart-warming schmaltz going on. This all sounds a little twee and silly but it is the basic ingredients of all good Christmas films. Scrooged has it, Die Hard has it and even Bad Santa fulfils that criteria. Home Alone may be one of the finest examples of those requirements being met. Also it has one of the most violent finales to a film ever filmed. Well, within the restrictions of a PG certificate. Click the link below ya filthy animals.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals.


Film Review No.352: Mad Max

Mad-Max-3

I’ve been on some serious nostalgia trips this past year. Nightbreed last week, various films from my youth along with a near complete run through of the Godzilla films. On top of that I’ve been digging up loads of random cult films such as Slugs and Kung Fu Cannibals. It looks like this nostalgia train isn’t stopping just yet though. And I don’t even mean with today’s review. My Christmas film is all lined up for next week too and that’s another piece of fried childhood gold. Another piece of such precious metal of my youth is the subject of today’s review. Spurred on by that, quite frankly, ridiculously good trailer for next year’s instalment, I am going back to where it all started with the original Mad Max. Click the link below for my review.

Click this ya drongo!


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